Confidence, Ego and Humility

I have heard that humility kills pride and  from my experiences I say that would be about correct. However, Is there a difference between self-doubt and humility? If I was to go back to Spike Lee's Movie "Do the Right Thing" with Radio Raheem who wore the Love Hate ring's on his hands would probably help me with the questions as they apply to how one behavior and belief of self and others can affect how we react and respond to our self and our interaction with others.

I am not saying I am correct, this is my theory from my life experiences, and sometimes even I can get it twisted; if I am not careful just as any other human being on this earth.  My experience in this life from childhood until now has evolved over time however, so has my understanding of the relationship with myself and the relationships I have & had along the way.  As a child I was very obedient and always did what I was told without any come back majority of the time. The adolescent years are the explore years and I explored not much but enough to have became a young teen mother and early adulthood wife.

Pride is noted in many biblical books as a sin. For many reason's mainly because it makes us think that we are better than God, or other people. Pride can hinder your growth and progress only if your unable to become humble in the pride experience. Humility will also kill ego when applied in the right area's in the experiences in life. So how does one know where confidence ends and the ego begin? First, I have to look at how one can define confidence. I believe that confidence is the power to have faith in your own abilities and belief in your self. Where ego operates out of self interest.  Many times through out my life I have tried to be very careful how I display my confidence, ego and humility. Since I have no control on how other's will view these attributes in me. I can not be concerned as I can not change anyone's perception of me nor do I care to as it isn't my concern when it comes to how I live my life. As long as my intentions are in a positive manner. Many may call this power of humility a weakness in my own perception but for me it was survival driven.

Pride will go out the window real quick when you have to protect and care for your family, heart and dignity. Having the responsibility of rearing two children on my own not without some help but majority of the rearing was my responsibility due to some unforeseen circumstances through the life journey. Separation/Divorce from the father of my children forced me to very careful of whom would be around and responsible for my children when in and out of my care. Which means you don't really socialize much or go out for entertainment due to your responsibility. As the children's welfare and well being was pressed as the most if not only importance job as a parent.

Humility is learned when you are trying to earn and income to care for your children and keeping a roof over their head. Because I was a young mother with some skills but not enough that would earn me an income that could afford housing, food, clothes, and shoes at the time. Yup, nothing fancy just the basic needs in human life pretty much the necessities. Did my self doubt rare it's little head, to say "No" would be a lie but given the situation I was left with no choice but to grab hold of my confidence and do what needed to be done to change my situation.

In this journey I found out that progress can be slow and long to achieve but you can achieve it. I shuffled along doing my best to hold on to my dignity in my struggle but I was able to move forward in little stitches of time. I was able to get the children into daycare which allowed me to go to college during that time, as well as obtain employment here and there. I attempted to develop relationships in the process but everyone failed, as it came out that a relationship really didn't have a place in the process at the time.

Only focus on the children and myself nothing else. This allowed my children and I to develop a very close parent & child relationship as we became a team. Everyone had a responsibility, their's was to go to daycare, school and be obedient and learn while I did the same and worked to earn money no matter how low the wage, something was better then nothing. My Pride was put aside once again as I was growing tired of the stitching process and applied for public housing assistance in order to have my own roof for my family. This was a process also and I worked and schooled until I achieved it. There is real humility and real courage in that so I continued to operate in that manner.

Relationships never die a natural death. They are always murdered by attitude, behavior, ego or ignorance.{}. I found this to be true as time moved on I was able to focus on the children, work, and go to school. It wasn't always easy but I learned a lot about my male counter partners as well as myself. As a man's dignity is the most powerful drive within himself and his relationships. Most times we can get it confused and fail to decide weather our ego is dominating in the guise of confidence this applies to men and women.

Not that I am a history person, the facts are that the psychological slavery we as a people meaning {those of African descent/indigenous people} have suffered still plays a big part in our coming together and working all the tools needed to have healthy relationships in a variety of ways note: {Non-Blended versus Blended} Each brings with it it's own confidence, ego and humility with dramatic and no dramatic trauma's.

By this time my ego was pretty much in full blown flight as I was the sole provider and sharing responsibility was foreign to me but I was open to give it a try again. I found out that saying sorry doesn't always mean that you were wrong. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.{}/ 

I learned that just because you say sorry it doesn't mean that everyone will accept your apology. I learned the difference between effective and ineffective communication and how it can make or break a relationship also. However, learning to be humble in the face of adverse challenges can help and harm at the same time.  I say this because I have learned to put my ego in its proper place and to be fully present into the humiliating experience and still make a stand for myself respect and dignity. You sometimes have to make difficult decisions that will affect you forever in a relationship when it does not align with your ideal of how you may preview it to be. There are periods of self doubt in relationships and you either will be submissive, angry, outburst and or violence. I realized that it's a very small difference between self respect and ego. Self respect makes a person self reliant while the arrogant always wants to be dependent....{Hindi}-You Tube

As a parent I believe that we exert all of the attributes of confidence, ego and humility some in healthy ways and some in destructive ways but we juggle to ensure we are doing what is best for the whole as well as ourselves. The same goes for when I started my new adventures and the experience is all a humbling experience in efforts to peel the layers off from the past and present in order to move toward the future.  

New adventures in the life journey experience forces you to take a good look at your behavior and your self perception. This is how we decide to keep or get rid of the things that work for us and throw away what doesn't work for us. This process is a hard process because you have to be real and willing to identify what is getting in your way. Just as in life I had to realize that some of my ways and thinking got in the way of my relationships. Don't get me wrong I am only taking responsibility for the parts that I played I can in no way take responsibility of other's behavior and or thoughts of themselves. I just know that if there is damage or trauma present that I will not add more if I can help it which in most cases I will choose to leave the relationship if it can not be corrected collectively.

I learned that my ability to show humility is often times interrupted as being weak, but believe me only the person that is not clear within themselves would say such a thing.  I have found my humility to be my most powerful attribute along with my love of myself respect and dignity has helped me to be as transparent and pure as possible. Some may call it child like in some fashion but it's what makes me me.

My confidence, ego and humility never stops me from asking for help when needed. However, I know that sometimes when you ask for help it may not come but these attributes help me make it until I can get the help needed to get to where I desire to get to. I feel that these characteristics have passed down to my children without me even know as children learn what they live not so much what they are told.

It is amazing to have such gifts to share with others even if they don't always give it in return. The gifts keep me going and going.....

Live Laugh Love

Self Love is the best Love

Learning to be in control of self in the mist of adversity is just mind blowing!!

I was asked more than once throughout my life why I apologies and /or say sorry when I don't have too?

My response was because some people never will and /or don't know how........ 

 It cost you nothing to be kind.....

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