What A Mess We Have Here! Straighten It Out!

Hold up wait a minute! Let's tighten this thing up here, you're all over the God forsaken place.  Now, let's pull this in a little bit more better as you're in serious danger of being considered out of compliance and alignment if you have not already and that could possibile shut everything down. 

As the saying goes your health is your wealth an it should never be taken lightly but should always be loved, cared for and taken care of  first and foremost even  more so when your going after that ideal, dream and or vision of the life you wish to see manifest into a reality that you live daily as you do today but with a little and or big twist of change in you, your life, your family- new/old friends, and new/old community.

This time at home allowed time to get things organized, in order, rearranged, renovated and or disposed of.  It also was filled with much fear of the unknown one, two changes came suddenly and adjusting is still taking place as many students are just getting computer's and laptop's to finish out the school year which could probably mean school will still be in session for some part of the summer for students that may not have had access during the waiting period for educational equipment from New Jersey School Districts.  New Jersey is very proud of their teacher's for all that they due with our children and how they kept it going even with the transition and adjustments working through many challenges they have come across in the process.  Good job everyone!

Three many parents that were already active in their children's educational process juggled work, home, the family and schooling their children through communication with their children's teachers and if you have more then one child you rock as you do the dang thing keeping up with everyone and right on task.  Many parent's are doing their best in helping their child adapt to the new changes as it is especially hard on the little people weather they were just starting school/pre-k/daycare and or home schooling they want to know why they can't go outside or why they have to wear a mask however once you make it a fashion statement it can get a little easier. 

Fourth many parents are care givers to their special needs and or disabled child as well as those of children that may show signs of behavioral challenges now are home full-time with their children an getting through some of the challenges yet keeping it all together. Fifth let's not forget those care givers of our elderly family that may or may not be going through the changes of aging can have it's own challenges during this time however, working together can make it a little easier to get through.

Basically, people are living life the best way they know how and those who are actively involved in their children's life while working are continued. Those who were not involved in their children's education while working are now having the light shined on them as they make excuses as to why their child is unable to participate in the new online schooling that is required during this time.  Yes, it seems the parent teacher connection still has it's kinks as some parents are still to busy and or refusing the equipment supplied by the schools due to not wanting the responsibility if the equipment gets broken for their children sad but true indeed. 

This time has brought out the worst and the best in people yet, communities are doing their best to take care of their residence the best of their ability through donations of food and funds to ensure that families do not go without during this time.  Many are practicing social distancing and some are not as they go about their days.  We don't know when all this will end but we are doing our best to get through this together and ensuring that everyone is safe while doing so.

Many wonderful things have come out of this time as many have found just how important our loved ones are to us. We have managed to keep our loved ones that need continual services connected to those services and keep our loved ones safe and free from crisis situations although when one does arrive hopefully the family and community is well educated and equipped to handle the crisis should it arise.

Mental health and physical health are very important and isolation can sometimes affect both.  We as family and community have to pay very close attention to our loved ones who may suffer and do what is needed to help keep them safe and protected.  As mental health can show up differently in men, women, and children as well as culturally and many times can go for periods of not being addressed especially if you don't know and or pay attention to the signs of illness when they arrive. However, we are making it through and things appear to be stable for now.

In this time you may feel like you want to help however, you may not always know where or what type of help is needed. Often times help begins with home first and depending on your situation you may have to help yourself before you can help others.  As many times this is the case in many inner city area's as they are hit the hardest when it comes to unemployment and or resources. This is not true for everyone that lives in the inner city area but can ring true for most that are struggling to take care of the basic needs of their family.

I know very well, the struggles of being a parent, teaching, working and rearing children. A task that can be a joy as well as a pain at times. Yet, I am grateful to say I survived it all and I am still surviving as I continue to be of assistance to my now grown children that are rearing their children.  The blessing for me is that I get the opportunity to be a grandmother and that is a joy in its self.

Over the years there has been many ups and downs yet many of us are still here doing what it do surviving and thriving. However, there is always room for improvement. Through the ups and downs there are many changes that can take place such as income can go up or down and or even terminated for periods of time.  People become resourceful and creative in earning and producing an income.  I myself was faced with an income situation back in 2008 all the way up until 2017/18.  Which lead me right were I am  today.

I to was tired of not knowing what to fight for, realizing that money has no soul or heart, I knew I was human but I was blind to what I needed to create the full life that I desired to have.  Realizing that it was going to take more than looks to get the job done and was forced to see what my capabilities were verse my incapabilities and how I could improve them to improve my situation and it was not easy as it required for me to get really real with myself and my situation across the board.

Looking at my core values, lack and or shortage of capital, and what services best soot me and would connect with my passions of life. Having to remain humble as I carefully examine my life in every area meaning spiritual, mental and physical, financial and relationships personal and professional.

They say,

"when you know better you do better"

"a slave is not it's own master"

" to find the real you, you will have to dig a little deeper"

"it's not what you got. It's what you got around you"

Catchy sayings, right? Yes, but what do they mean to you and how can you apply it to your everyday life to ensure your life is the best life you can have? It's ok if you don't know the answer as many still are challenged with this very life experience even those who look as if they have it all together.

So if we break it down and take it apart maybe it will be better to see and or understand to apply to your own life.

The first one is Spirituality and how we see and or what our beliefs are around spirit and spirituality.  Having faith in what you can not see, feel and or touch, yet you believe that anything and everything is possible, even when faced with challenges you still believe that something good will come out of every challenge. 

What are your beliefs and are they holding you back or launching you forward?

For me spirituality is a great part of my entire life as there were times I know that it was only God that protected and provided me the strength to do what I needed to do in those challenging times for me, my family and others,  Over time spirituality maturity grows within my life and I may not be able to explain how amazing God has been in my life and how he has helped me to get through some of the roughest times that I thought I would never get over. My faith in spirituality is constantly evolving and growing with a greater appreciation and understanding that I am not in control of much and the things that are within my power I do my best to do it well with gratitude and grace knowing that I am human and not perfect.

This time showed me just how great God really is, as busy is and was what I did. In my busy I didn't have time to think, feel and or reflect on feelings of the grief of losing my parents, my father's family, friends, partners and associates. During this time I had no choice but to deal with the feeling of the loses and the grief that comes with it.  Some days were better than others however, I noticed that some of the new changes that was put in place caused me great anger, frustration and sadness when they announced that no one could visit their loved ones whom are placed in a nursing care facility and or hospital.

 This information triggered feelings of helplessness and memories of when our family was faced with making that decision for our mother. Memories of how we did our best to have family around the clock with the facility staff and how my mother still was injured and due to her diagnosis and injuries it changed her quality of life and eventually we had to say goodbye before we were ready too. The whole process of who was at fault in her care giving and well being. The questions was she abused by staff or another resident? How she fall twice in short periods of time when she was scheduled to be monitored?  Having to come to the point where you forgive yourself and rest in knowing that you did all that you could to honor her life and her wishes and that she is resting in peace. 


If you are the care giver and or in the health care profession and you see abuse, neglect, and or the facility is operating within state, federal regulations and or in a humane manner in concern of the staff and residences safety and well being. Please reach out to Robert  A. Greenberg at Locks Law Firm (856)663-8200  or (215)893-0100 the law team will hear your concern and let you know if you have a case worth fighting for and your report is confidential and you don't have to fear losing your job.  As a care giver and or health care professional it is your duty to serve and protect those you and those care for as this current situation has brought forth many concerns and questions in the care of our loved ones and facility residence as a whole.

Having faith that everything that you go for in life will manifest itself if your willing to do the work and my faith has supported me, as well as sent others along the journey to support, provided knowledge, and or show me another way, and reminded me of the importance of rest to manifest my ideas, dreams and or vision. Without it I don't think that I would be where I am today and it keeps me looking forward to tomorrow.

 In getting things worked out Faith is a big part as it is and will be your motivation when there appears to be none. So what we think we create and when you have a peaceful mind you create a peaceful life. If your mind is filled with uncertainty, lack and or fear overcoming your challenges can be more work but worth it if it gets you to a place of peace and calmness to navigate through life.

What are your belief systems?

How have your belief systems work or not worked in your life over time?

Are your beliefs pushing you forward or holding you back?

As human begins we are composed of DNA, Cells, Tissues, Muscles and so on and some times either genetic, chemical and or environmental incidents/ situations can cause our bodies and our brains to function differently. So it is very important to pay attention to your thoughts and or feelings and ask yourself, " Is it the situation or is it my response to the situation."  This is something I learned along the way to help me evaluate in moments when I become frustrated and or simply don't understand how one/thing maybe acting and or responding in the situation.  As stress is a great killer and has been for some time now, different level and types of stress could possibly cause the body to react differently and the frequency of the stress could possibly change a human forever. Leaving loved ones and the affected person to learn more of what is causing the illness and or disease within them and what supports are needed just in case one would need them in case of a crisis situation.

What we eat, think and drink will forever aid our bodies or destroy it. So eating from the four basic food groups and drinking plenty of water with exercise will keep the body running proper even if it should suffer some in perfections along the journey.  One should want to give the body what it needs to keep moving in this fast pace world we live in.

The National Alliance of Mental Illness reports that millions of people in the U.S. are affected by mental illness each year. It also reports the importance to measure how common mental illness is so we can understand it's physical, social and financial impact and to show, support and let them know they are not alone.

1 in 5 U. S. adults experience mental illness each year.

1 in 25 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness each year.

1 in 6 U. S.  youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year.

50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14 and 75% by age 24

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among people aged 10-34

Any questions about these statistic provided please feel free to read the NAMI article on Mental Health By the Numbers, learn the warning signs and the different types of mental health conditions.  For help contact NAMI help line at 1- 800-950-NAMI or in a crisis text "NAMI" to 741741

Second is our relationships, are they healthy or unhealthy, co dependent, dependent, independent or reciprocal relationships?  Relationships most would think are easy and some may think that being a loner is the best run of life. Yet we know that no one is an island and that together we can accomplish so much more.  However, relationships can be challenging especially if your one that has trust issues or have suffered from traumatic experience, been wronged and or  been in an abusive unhealthy relationships.  


National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

If you are in immediate danger call 911  

For anonymous, confidential help 24/7 call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224

 The first relationship most encounter is the family relationship and no one family is like another family.  They may share common morals, values, integrity and honesty and some may share generational ills and dysfunction yet they're still family.  This family is where many learn what a relationship is on the level of unconditional love. Now that doesn't mean that in learning this level of unconditional love that we refrain from using the scissors of love with some loved one's for a variety of reason's.  Using the scissors of love means that I love me more and I still love you but we can't be in one another's company for to long or even at all depending on the situation and or incident that may have taken place over time of growing up in the family. Yet, we maintain some form of family ties and or connection to one another within our family gene pool and or extended family if it should be the case as family doesn't always have to be blood related as time has shown us.

Family Break Down:

Biological Parents, Siblings,Grand Parents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins.

Foster and or Adoptive Parents, Siblings, Grand Parent, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins.

Non-romantic relationships that help shape and guide our journey's path to some extent.  Based on the well being of the relationships and what they may have contributed and or taken away from our lives. Yet, we are surviving and living life however is it the best life we can live or is there room for growth, change and or improvement?  Is there room for a deeper connection?  Yes - No and or Why - Why Not?

Now it's safe to assume that we all are aware that when we pursue a romantic relationship that each individual involved brings themselves and life experiences with them into the relationship knowingly or unknowingly as sometimes our mates, spouses and or partners interaction can bring up issues we may or may not have been aware of within ourselves. How we handle and or deal with those issues that come up from time to time in romantic relationships can determine how we navigate through the storms and trails romantic relationships can face. There is a saying that says, " You learn more about a person at the end of the relationship than when you were in the relationship." 

Great saying and can stand true for most however, the person I believe we learn more about is ourselves and how and who we are in a relationship.  A few characteristics of a healthy romantic relationship are: Mutual respect, Trust, Honesty, Compromise, Individuality, Good communication, the ability to control ones anger and fight fair. Sounds easy enough right?  Yet, most struggle in romantic relationships including myself. Mostly I learned what I don't want and what I refuse to every except again in romantic relationships.  I also learned I am very selfish and very over protective with all my relationships. However, the lessons I learned along the way are preparing me for the best romantic relationship that even I can imagine but I am open to the idea and the work that it will require to maintain a healthy relationship. This I can say only because I have done the work to learn who I am and what I want in and out of my relationship as it all begins and ends with me.  I learned that the model that was before me growing up wasn't a bad one but I realize that I am not my parents nor do I hold them for things they did not know to teach me and I will respond differently to the life challenges that may lie ahead.

 What if any have your romantic relationships taught you over the years?

Are you easy to forgive or do you hold a grudge for life?

If in a romantic relationship what are some things you learned over the years that makes it work and keep it together?

Then we have our associates, co-workers, and or business partners/acquaintance all of whom we develop a relational relationship that allows us to form working relationships that have the ability to create ever lasting lifetime connections.  In every relationship there is give, take,trust, mutual respect, loyalty, honesty and integrity. The relationships in our lives has components of communication that allows open safe conversations as each individual is allowed to feel what they feel and should be comfortable enough to voice those feelings.  This is often times easier for some and difficult for others however the case each individual is free to express themselves without causing harm and or malice to others.  This may take some time depending on the time frame of the relationships and for some they just are who they are and they don't see the need for any change in how they relate and communicate to others.  I seen a quote that resonated with me I believe by Iyanla Vanzant that read something like this, " We don't get to show someone how to loves us.  We allow them to show us how they love,  and we decide if we want to participate."  Now that is deep.

Financial stress is the biggest link to relationship, health problems and distress in other area's of our life. Our financial health is important and vital to our entire being health.  As when your financial situation is low and or absolute life can be a little different. Having the experience of being factored in statistically as part of the disadvantaged population.  One soon discoveries that the only way out is to live as modest as you can which means you will probably miss out on most things that will take you off your course to financial resolution.  Today even having a college degree will not guarantee you a career in your field of education. So therefore many work  wage jobs sometimes one, two or even three depending on the size of the family just to make ends meet. It appears that in today's world everything is increasing however, our income is doing so slowly and now some of us aren't working at all and my not possibly be able to go back to the job and or career they once was doing as many companies may have to close their doors forever from this, who knows the out come.  As we all are hoping and praying for the best to come from this life changing experience.

Many experts have stated not to pay certain things at this time and they maybe true but when your a part of the disadvantage population we can not afford to miss paying not one bill as it could set us back for months.  So the majority of us are paying what we can and speaking to companies to work with us during this time until we can access another source of income to keep paying.  Me included as student loans, car repossessions ect; aren't charging interest during this time but payments are still going out thank God along with other important bills that are necessary to live. So, yes I am feeling all the feelings most in the world are feeling too and like most people are doing their part in helping others when we can.

Getting your financial health together is vital especially during this time as we work even harder to save and invest in our retirement plans if it applies or any other adventure we  may desire in our future. How do we obtain it?  See the way I see it is that pretty much whatever financial condition we were in when this world situation arrived that's pretty much where we are right now today. The question is how will our financial condition be once this is over?  Will we have taken some strategic actions steps to begin improving our financial condition?  Or will we remain in the same financial condition we are currently in with no resolution as to how we can begin to make some changes toward improvement?

Being included in the statistical data of the disadvantaged or poor population one thing for sure you learn how to be resourceful and wise with your money over time. However, there are variables that factor in as to how we feel and are with money in relationship to our life. Are we from a generational threads of DNA that spends verses saves or saves, invest, build and spend generational threads in our DNA? Weather you were taught about finances or not some where along the journey you will begin to seek financial information for yourself along the way, weather to identify how to have it, get, keep some of it in hopes to learn how to make it grow and last for generations.

The information is available however, many won't know where and if they are invited may not come for a variety of reasons.  Those who do seek and find the information most times will either implement what was taught or still holding on to the belief that they need that small investment to live in the present now.  This is not something unheard of as many American's refuse health benefits due to the contribution they will have to make out of their pay check because they think they need every dime they earn to live and it's not false however, there are ways to invest in one's health plan, retirement fund and more it's all in how we see the approach and application that applies to our life.

Often times it can be challenging to identify ways that work best to improve ones financial situation yet it can be done successfully with a little help and guidance along the way.  It may be having to work another job to gain the funds, it may be as simple as cleaning out the basement and or garage and selling some things or it could be starting a whole new alternative way such as starting a business or business partnership with family or friends.

Whatever way one decides is the best for them and they apply it I am sure it will have a positive outcome when applied correctly for their life and life goals. The traditional way would be to save, plan, and expedite without any chaos.  But if your an untraditional person like myself you identify was that help you build as you work through the chaos (laughing), I mean in my mind it's all Alice in Wonderland as I navigate after falling through the hole one amazing adventure after the other still making progress yet not not reaching the goal in the present.  When you speak with any investor they will always advise you to audit your life and examine your purpose and or reason for investing.  Like to be able to make a large purchase, children's education, retirement, vacation, stocks, bonds, ect. 

Are these some things you think about when it comes to your life? I am one known for saying that money isn't everything and I stand firm on that saying, however money is what makes the world go around as it flows from one to another for goods, necessary basic items, and so fourth as currency is meant to flow as it's the flow that keeps the world going. Yet, without it the world turns also so go figure however the flow and intensity maybe different.

Weather you are able to clear the chaos or you're working through it. I want you to know that you will make it to the place of peace you seek in you life in every area if you just don't give up and keep doing and taking action steps toward the life you want. Soon the chaos will clear and you will become more clear in your direction and the path you wish to take toward betterment.  As you learn more about yourself you will begin to develop a clear vision of the life you wish to live. Things will begin to fall in order and you will begin to prioritize in order of importance and our urgent need to be taken care of. 

As you begin your days you will become aware of the action steps that will be needed to put things in place for those days. This doesn't mean that things won't go wrong or work out but it  means that your slow progression will move you forward one step at a time.  You will begin to prioritize your time, activities, start setting boundaries as well as use discernment in what works you're doing and be able to identify weather what you're doing will deposit or withdraw from your life goals. As this process begins in your life you will begin to eliminate what does not work for your good.

Don't worry about weather or not your perfect at it because as you practice these tips/steps daily it will get better and better. What may appear to be confusing will become clear as you move forward and keep taking the actions steps.  You will make it as long as you don't give up.  When working toward getting things straighten out it may not appear to look that way in the beginning but trust the process and know that over time everything will work out just fine.  Your life will be better and your family will be better because of it. You will become the change you wish to see in your life and be the role model your younger generation needs to see.

You only miss 100% of shots you do not take, I believe Wayne Gretzky said that and you know what he is right, how can you make the shot if you never put your self in position to take it?  So no matter what your circumstances or situation maybe I want you to know that when you're intentional in your actions, words and ways you will see you life get in order and work out. However, this is a process and it will not happen over night but just as an investment grows overtime so will you and your life when you begin to take the steps to move you to where you want to be.

Debt Free- Takes Time

Love of your life- Takes Time to care for, take care of and maintain

Rearing children- Takes Time

Going to School- Takes Time

Working a job and or career- Takes Time

Getting over life experiences good and bad - Takes Time

From Sun up to Sun down - Takes Time

Everlasting life Changes- Takes Time

Let's not grow bitter from our circumstances and or situations. Let's use this time we have to grow better.  It doesn't matter what it may look like right now, just know that where you are today is not your destination.  Take that faith of a mustard seed and leap into you new life adventures that only you can manifest in you life.  As no one is coming to save you. You are going to have to be your own rescue in your health and wellness in you life.

I hope this article was helpful to someone today. I thank you for taking the time to read our articles as we continue to grow and get reorganized in our journey we appreciate each and everyone of you. We wish you the best life that you can have and we love to be able to share business exposures with you as we go but due to following and being compliant with all business rules, regulations and guidelines. I am taking this time to invite you to reach out to me if your interested in exploring services and or wanting more information about all it is that we are involved in here at Tammise Market.  We invite you to reach out to us via email, text, dm and or IM for links to various business exposures that has earning potential and can possibly change your way of earning an income today.

As always come and visit us and look forward to more articles as in life you have to options. Live in the world you create or live in the world created for you. Which one will you choose today?

Real Family Dynamics may call for Real Financial Dynamics in Earning order. Be safe stay blessed and be all that you can be. Because only you can do it! Share your greatness with the world don't hide it as everyone needs to see.













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