Some times you just have to let it go. I always have the desire for a loving, caring, giving ,relationship however, things don't always workout the way we think and or may tell our sleeves. So when the mirror cracks and breaks we can be devastated and or have feelings of loss. I have experienced this a few times in my life.
When I think of the relationships that I do have in my life I am always grateful for them and the love that we share. The ones that I have lost in my life have always taught me the strengths that lie within me that I didn't know that I had. When things go wrong I always want to fix them and I would try my best but, sometimes it's to late to fix what's broke and I learned that I can't be the only one working on the fixing and in time I get over it and can let it go.
I believe that the most pain comes from still keeping some sort of attachment to the person that really causes the pain as they move on and I am stuck with all the facts of the truth that they were never meant to be a part of my life forever because if they were things would have went different.
This journey of wanting to improve my life and the quality of my life is forcing me to really exam my life from the inside. I have to assess why I do the things I do and what is the attached negative and positive factors that is either holding me back or pushing me forward. What is making me act and look foolish and what is showing off my best attributes.
So, I had to break it down piece by piece by closely looking at and evaluate me in every aspect. Because I am a care giver by nature it's in me to want to fix everything and everyone but I realize now that somethings aren't for me to fix and or take care of because it's not my place nor my job to as other's can only fix them sleeves I can just be a vessel or the bridge I hope and pray.
My greatest challenge is fixing myself and that appears to be the scariest thing ever only because it requires me to change the way I behave and react to what is going on in the world and the world of my life that I have created. Knowing that the only why I can create a better me and a better world for me is to get real and let go of the thoughts that no longer serve me.
I have taken control of my finances and believe me it was a process to start. I say that because when I saw the amount of debut I had created I could not see how I was ever going to get it all taken care of and I had no time frame as to how long it would take to get it done. So I began one item at a time until I was knocking somethings off little by little. The steps I took has gotten my financial map on track, no it's not perfect as of yet but it's getting there. As I took the steps I became more clear on the path of becoming a good Stewart with my money and getting my business in order. This gave me a sense of joy because I was getting Reid of a burden by taking control of them. I still have some things to work on and I realized that I needed help so I reached out to a gentleman named Mr. Quintin Jones who is a credit repair specialist. We had a conversation about my current credit issues and he advised me on what steps I needed to complete in order to get my issues resolved. If you need credit repair you can reach out to him at www.fesconnect.net/QJones2 to sign up or contact him at (678)914-1623 he will be more than happy to get you on the right track.
After looking at my money issues I had to venture into my own health and habits. Like I have shared I realized that I was going through some changes after losing my parents and I sought out a psychologist who noted and or confirmed with my own diagnosis that she could see the anxiety and depression traits within me that where present before here. I know that there are normal stress that everyone may suffer from but for some reason I could not figure out why my normal stress was causing all this discomfort within me. I shared with her my issues at work as well as my personal life. We discussed my well being and for the most part from my doctors report I am healthy and doing well even with the weight gain. She provided me task to compete and we followed up a few more times and I began to get involved in my new adventures and haven't followed up but I will when I feel that I need to because from our last session only I can do the work and get things started and back on track.
I found that my new adventures provided me a breath of fresh air. I became so engrossed in them that I unknowingly disregard my loved ones and friends so now I am integrating it all so that I don't miss any special moments because when its all said and done my loved ones and close personal friends are really the jewels of my life.
Looking at my relationships I have created very strong bonds with my children and close friends that when I get off track they have a way of being brutally honest with me and it forces me to readjust as I go into my new adventures.
As far as a love and myself I tend to neglect myself as I give to others and sometimes I can get lost in what is most important and that's me. I have found that if I am not right nothing else is going to be right either. With love I love fast and hard not that I am perfect but my wanting to for everyone to be okay sometimes leaves me not okay because I can step out of bounds with other's that free them sleeveless from me. I love way to long and I never want to let go but over time I learned that I have to let go because they are not holding on to me as I am them. This can be hard sometimes and only because I do love them maybe not the way they feel that I should have loved them. However, over time we grow apart and move forward wishing one another peace love and happiness and other times we just let the hurt and pain stay never speaking again.
Some times you just have to let people be who they are and love them from a distance without losing yourself. It's funny because I just went through something pertaining to love and letting go and I had not expected it to impact me in the way that it had. So on the other evening I got a text from my daughter that said, " Stress Kills, that's all I have to say. I love you, kisses", I sat back and laughed as I thought to myself girl it's all over collect your self. Then this morning I was going through my email's and I read one from Joan from yesterday that said, " Only a fool trips on what's behind him. Don't be that fool! I know you've had bad experiences with your work in the past, but don't let that stop you from the opportunities ahead!
It's time to move forward and not dwell on the past. Always make today better than the last!
To your success,
Well, I just had to laugh because only God can put people in and around your life like this. Joan I thank you I don't know you but I love you for keeping it real. See this journey is an amazing one because there are so many people cheering for your success and you may not even know them but their messages are for your greater good.
So as I continue this journey and I do it knowing that everything that has happen to me has happened for me. This I learned in the KimUnity group and I realize that no matter how I feel or what is going on I have to keep doing the work for me and my business in order for it to be well and so I can be well.
I have loved myself this far so it's no need to stop now and I am finding that other's love me also or at least wish me well in life because we only get one. So live it to the fullest and keep doing what you do. Be more mindful of my emotional state and never let anyone take me off my path as it is not their's to follow. Everything that is for me will be for me and no one can take it away.
I am a work in progress so things I say and do may not always be perfect but it is done with love in mind and heart. It's very scary sharing yourself with the world but it's also freeing. I may never become the millionaire nor the great author but being able to share with other's is a blessing in some way and I hope someone will be able to read my experiences and or lesson's and see that there is greatness within them also and they will begin to start a new adventure for their live that will blossom and change them fore the better.
Sometimes we block our own blessings when we don't see the importance of getting out of our own way and letting go of what no longer serves us.
Releasing blame, shame, quilt, mistakes,and all that is negative that no longer fits in my life. Thanking God for his light and the strength to keep moving even when you may think it's not possible.
Love on Love